The delightfully goth Sedlec Ossuary (bone church) is located in the middle of an industrial wasteland, on the outskirts of a small town called Kutna Hora, about an hour east of Prague by train.
The tourists flock here in drones, buzzing through the ossuary and taking their fill of happy snaps, barely seeing the place except through the lenses of their cameras. We linger til the first throng disappears, and enjoy the few minutes of silence we have. The second coming appears in another flash-flood, but soon disappears as well, and we are finally left alone, having the whole establishment to ourselves for a good half an hour. It seems odd that a minute ago you couldn’t take a step without a dozen Nikon flashes blinding you; now, we are able to take a grand photo of the place without a single soul to disturb us.
The church is definitely one of the more morbid sights one could choose on their honeymoon. If you know us at all though (and if you’ve been following this blog so far), you’ll know that we were right at home. The interior of the building is filled with the bones of up to 70,000 people. They hang in ornate chandeliers, are strewn across the ceilings like buntings at a country fair, are stacked and layered in piles in the corners, like snowdrifts pushed aside, and are showered with offerings of coins.
A pretty sight, albeit too creepy for most. We take our time examining the carefully decorated room, dreading the heat of noon outside the cool, morgue-like church. The centrepieces include a chandelier comprised of every bone in the human body, and the exact bone-replica of the Schwarzenberg family coat of arms.
There are also crushed and broken skulls from battles on display; gaping holes where they have been smashed by an axe, or pierced by arrows.
We light a candle for the remains of these poor people who lie in such stark nakedness, eternally on display for the hordes of marauding tourists.
When we do emerge, we find a friendly, local shuttle bus driver awaiting customers. We gladly take him up on his offer and grab a lift to town. His enthusiastic banter ranges from conspiracy theories to pig brain delicacies – and he’s obviously enjoying the challenge to describe these in (broken) English!
He drops us off at Saint Barbara’s Church (our first cathedral of the trip!), one of the most famous Gothic masterpieces in Europe. Construction took almost 700 years – we marvel at the visible contrast between the old side of the building, and the newer, polished side, as well as the many, beautiful stained glass windows.
Afterwards, walking down the cobbled lanes of the town, we find a medieval restaurant and stop for lunch. The dark interior reminds me of a Tolkien-inspired inn, ala The Prancing Pony, but the gardens beyond are playfully adorned with vintage Singer sewing machines – the tables themselves are old, Singer sewing tables!
Famished, we order a kilo of pork ribs with mustard and horseradish, stuffed potatoes, and a couple pitchers of raspberry and blackberry mead. The feast is ridiculously cheap, as well as ridiculously large. Our foil-wrapped leftovers accompany us back onto the shuttle bus, to which the driver smiles knowingly at.
“The pork ribs eh? I know many people who have not defeated it!”
Back in Prague, we decide to spend our last night in the thick of it, wandering through the Old Town.
We spy a one-man-band and stop for the show;
We hire a paddle boat for a trip around the river;
And find a nice place for a final beverage;
To top it off, when we arrive back at our hotel we find a magnificent fruit, chocolate, and champagne platter waiting for us. Our Best Man has sent us a final wedding gift! Darren is one of the most generous and loving people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. We are both so grateful to have him in our lives.
I’m not sure if there was a better way to end our stay in this amazing city, nor did I really care to find out. We collapsed exhausted on our bed and gorged ourselves on the treat, writing postcards and listening to the peaceful buzz of Czech TV in the background. I peer over and sneak a peek at his writing;
“I will miss the pitter patter of rubber on cobblestones as the cars of Prague make their way through the narrow streets – sometimes hurriedly and with conviction and purpose, sometimes slow and steady in no hurry at all, each car their own unique pitch and rhythm… Yeah, I am going to long for Prague for so many mundane reasons that all add up to why this magical city will always be so important to me.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Enjoyed this post? Read the next post from this series: “A Honeymooner’s Guide to six weeks in Europe” now!
