Every traveler has a “flight from hell” story. Luckily for me, it didn’t happen until well into my traveling career – my parents taught me to only ever fly with Emirates or Singapore Air. But like most kids will do at least once their lives, I ignored the good advice, and on one fateful day in 2008, I sat contemplating my small savings account and suddenly gave in to temptation, settling on a $300 flight to Japan with Australia’s newest (at the time) budget airline; Jetstar.
…And boy, did I learn my lesson!
Credit: abc.com.au
It was only on the final payment screen of my order that I realised the deal was too good to be true. The $300 fee was a one-way price, and it also excluded taxes and surcharges. To top it off, it was a severe example of a budget, “no frills” ticket, meaning we had to pay for all snacks and meals, blankets and pillows, even the portable entertainment unit (which sat heavy and clunky on my tray table). The flight ended up putting us back almost $1,000 per person. For an advertised price of $300, what a disappointment!
Still, it was nothing compared to the flight itself – or should I say, the “fight” itself! I spent most of the journey fighting the onset of the plague (OK, probably just a severe flu, but I couldn’t shake it for a week, which meant I spent half of our holiday with my nose buried in tissues) – most likely a direct result of our entourage of sick, snuffling, and screaming infants around us (which I have to admit wasn’t the fault of the airline, but it was exacerbated by the lack of adequate service).
A happy snap after we boarded the plane. If only I could have slept this well throughout the whole flight!
An excerpt from my travel diary brings back vivid memories;
Each wailing eruption from the children around us hits my aching head like a lightening storm. My temples are clouded in the sudden onset of fever, and the shrieks of sick, bored and tired infants are shattering cracks of thunder, reverberating inside my head. I silently chastise myself for not taking heed of the other passengers wearing face-masks, as I burrow further into my boyfriend’s shoulder. He pulls the flimsy Jetstar blanket over me, and pats my cheek until I drift into restless slumber.
It was a fitful eight-hour flight, and I could neither get comfortable enough to fall into a deep sleep, nor keep my eyes open long enough to be a decent travel companion for him. Even the “food” we pre-paid for could not keep me interested long enough to stay awake – and I use that term lightly. I stared disdainfully at my meal, while he picked at his. I passed on dinner, mournfully munching on a single bite of unappetising apple before closing my eyes again.
The lack of proper food should have warned us, but when asking the attendants for panadol, aspirin, anything to soothe my fever – we were greeted only by shaking heads. Nothing. In my delerium I remember praying to whatever god was listening that I survive the flight, and bid good riddance to that air-borne disease-capsule!
Finally, we land at Kansai International Airport, Osaka. It is 8.30pm local time. But our journey isn’t over yet.
View of Kansai International Airport from across the landmark Sky Gate Bridge.
Credit: The Gist Online
We must have been the last people to leave the plane (given the comfortingly-empty shuttle service we caught back to the main terminal), and the last to pick up our bags, because by the time we arrive at passport control there is a queue so long it pains me more than the ache in my head, and the cramps in my back and legs combined. I somehow hold it together long enough to slip quickly through the body scanner, all the while praying for divine intervention as I’m convinced the metal detector is actually a quarantine scan, installed to expose infectious diseases! I scamper through in a hurry, before security has time to turn me around and put me back on a plane to Sydney.
Our airport hotel in Osaka, the Ramada.
There is a connecting bus to take us to our “airport hotel”, the Ramada Osaka, but it is in no way close to the airport. By the time we arrive, it is 10.30pm, and we are starving. Unfortunately, the so-called “late-night lounge” has closed early, and we are forced to fend for ourselves tonight. Jus (my beloved boyfriend at the time) settles me into the safety of our room, affixes a wet facecloth to my fire-y forehead, and ventures out into the unknown. I watch him through the large windows, disappearing into the pitch black of night, and count the minutes til his return.
Of course, he emerges from the dark successful – my hero! (There’s a very good reason he’s now my husband!) Having encountered a few closed restaurants, it turns out a nearby convenience store has everything we need for our first Japanese meal; rice, noodles, sushi, pringles, and Fanta Grape (my absolute favourite soft drink, from my childhood in South Africa – I am always excited when I find it as it’s so rare in Australia).
Our gourmet 7/11 feast.
Pale, tired, and sweaty on an Osaka summer evening, I was still excited to discover my Fanta Grape came with Grape Jelly!
I can’t stomach much more than a few spoonfuls of rice and some Fanta, but my spirits have lifted immensely, and I am, for the first time, settling into a happy holiday mode. The “Nightmare Flight of Doom” (as we now so fondly call it) is over, and I fall asleep, peacefully content beside my partner in crime – and awake in the morning, without a fever. 🙂
What about you – have you had a similar experience? What’s your “flight from hell” story?
Fanta grape is the single most amazing thing about Japan that people don’t know about it.
Also sad you had such a terrible Jetstar experience – I’ve flow there three times on Jetstar and always had a wonderful time of it.
I grew up on Fanta Grape in South Africa, so it’s always a nice surprise when I stumble across it in a foreign supermarket. You can imagine how excited I was to find Woolworth’s now stocks it. 🙂
And it’s good to hear Jetstar isn’t bad all the time. Was there anything about the flight that stood out for you – either good or bad? One day I may try them again in the hope that they redeem themselves!